Feeling Frustrated

So on friday I was really feeling frustrated. It was one of those days that just didn't start out to well. I woke up in the morning and I just didn't feel like myself. It was a feeling like I was a little low, and just not at my normal levels.

So I go to my internship at the Youth Corrections Facility and try to get into my email to see what has happened since my last work day there. Of ocurse I get the problem that my login is malfunctioning...again. This has happened almost every day I have been there this year, its a really irriataitng process becuase I have to call up IT and have them constantly reset my password(which I then have to reset) and I have burned through about 10 of them already.

So from there I try to enter one of my clinical notes(we write one for a group of individual session) into the database and of course my password is not working there either. Back on the phone with IT tells me that they cant do anything but they will let a higher up know there is a problem. So at this point I decide to go do an individual session.

Individual session goes fine, nothing to say. I have a couple more and then a family session, and then have some lunch.

I type up all of these and save them on my own personal drive for later.
At this point it is time for the weekly DBT meeting and the direcotr of the program asks me which skill I was going to present that day. I looked at her dumbfounded and said that it wasnt my presentation day. She looked at the schedule and agreed with me, then looked around the room. The person who was supposed to present was at a meeting. The other 4 people had already made presentations so she basically threw it on me. So I had to quickly figure somethign out with the 10 minutes I had. I fumbled through it(not being prepared will do that to you) and was glad when it was over.

At this point I then went to prepare for my group which I was leading on Violent Offense. And that was where things really came unglued.

This was the fifth week that my group was going to run, and for 3 of the previous 4 I had to cover another group becuase that group leader was not scheduled for that day(long story). So this week I was rarin to go. I was ready, that other group leader was on site and I was ready to do a kickass group. Group typically starts at 4 so I was where i needed to be at 345 so I would be able to start precsily at 4.

At 4:05(things got started late) I am told that the other group leader would not be able to lead his group becuase he was on the "jail side" and not the "psych side" of the facility. So yet again, I get stuck with his group. At this point I was absolutly pissed, frustrated, etc. This was the fourth time in 5 weeks I had to cover his group and I just cannot keep doing that. I cannot run my group well if I have to also run a second group. I cannot combine the two groups as it complelty screws up group dynamics. The kids in my group wont get much out of it if I cant run their group well, and the kids in the other group certainly wont get anything out of it if the leader is constantly changing. Plus I had no idea what those other kids were suppsoed to do.

I put a lot of pride into my group. I wrote a sylabus for it and I prepare for it and try to devise fun ways of teaching and facilitating the concepts I want to get acorss. i cannot do that when I am having to run 2 groups. This thing really sent me over the edge and I was absolutly fuming at this time.

I ended up having th two groups watch a video on violence and victims, and had them discuss it in small groups after, but I was certainly beside myself. I ended my calling up Miss E in Chicago (a close friend who I call when I need to talk to someone) and she was able to help me calm down. On sunday I ended up calling her back and thanking her for helping me out, and this time she had had a bad evening and needed to talk, so I respirocated. It is great to have someone in your life like that.